[Vnbiz] Wife teaches hubby fiery lesson = A 'flaming hot' issue in Vietnam?

Mon Apr 14 04:29:32 PDT 2008

Hi anh Shane, Phong, and CACC,

Three cheers for anh Shane (chi Shane is a very lucky lady).
This victim of spousal betrayal also have another supporter here too.

This is an issue forever have been very close to my heart for I believed
this is a serious social problem in VN have been ignore by the whole society
for generations.  I do not know the exact ratio of the responsible parallel
polygamy (the ones who do take care of their other women and the children
they help to created) in compare to the irresponsible parallel polygamy (the
ones who abandoned their other women and the children they help to
created) but I would like to talk to you about a numbers of cases I had
witnessed through out my life time and my personal experiences.

Anh Shane oi, the "girlfriend culture" that you see to day in VN have
been rooted in the Vietnamese society as long as I can remember.  In my
maternal grandfather rural village, Bi`nh Luo^ng -Do^ng, Go` Co^ng, where I
spend most of my summer vacations during my high school years, there were a
numbers of well to do married men having extra marital affairs with younger
neighbor females.  7 of them to be exact.

These men never had any intention of leaving their wives, they just wanted
to have fun with the young girls only.  All of them seems to respect their
wives to the point of being afraid and often they had to sneak around to go
see their girl friends.  One of these men (my grandfather next door
neighbor) asked me to be his messenger to deliver his message to his young
girl friend to meet him at night at a certain place in the village and in
return he would give me money.  Naturally I had to refused for fear my
grandfather would give me a good spanking.  I was 9 years old.

One sunny day not long after, another the girl was confronting her married
boyfriend on what to do about the baby she was conceived with him on the
street in front of my grandfather's rice field.  She told my grandfather she
became his girl believing, since he was well to do, she'll benefit from his
wealth.  Of course the man refused to acknowledged the baby was his and he
returned to his wife continued to live his good life unharmed.  When my
grandfather asked her why did she want to submit herself to an unworthy man,
she told my grandfather the reasons was, he was a wealthy man and she was
much younger than his wife.

Being pregnant without being married, this girl was abandoned by her family
and most of the people in the village, except my grandfather and a few other
families.  She gave birth to a baby boy and struggling to raised her boy the
best way she could.  But being isolated, poor education and jobless, she
couldn't do much and her boy grew up to be a serious trouble maker not only
for himself but for many other people.

Some other girls had to leave the village for good because of the
humiliation caused by the men's wives, but the men continued to live their
good lives with their wives and families afterward, unharmed.

My father, while married to my mother, he has a girlfriend who lived next
door and who was 16 years younger than him.  Before my father, this woman
already had 2 children with 2 different men in the village.  He abandoned my
mother at the age of 32 and my sister and I at the age of 8 and 6. Life
after my father was a real struggle for the 3 of us, but my mother, never
remarry, managed to put foods on the table for me and my sister, helped us
to be well educated, enough clothes to keep warm, and taught us to live our
lives not ever to cause harm and missery to other human beings as long as we
live.  My father was unharmed for his action.

My first cousin, her husband had several extra marital affairs with much
younger women and have kids.  But he always returned to my cousin and
abandoned the others.  He was unharmed for his action.  To these day, we do
not know how the other children are doing.

My third generation of cousin, she also is a victim of
irresponsible parallel polygamy.  Her husband gave her 4 children
and leave them unattended.  1 boy and 3 girls. The mother don't know how to
support her kids.  The children don't have enough foods on the table and the
chance to go to school.  The oldest boy became a trouble maker in the
village.  The second girl dropped out of grade school to waited table for
drunken abusive men to help her mother to buy foods.  The father still
continued to conquered other women for his pleasure still unharmed.  When I
found out I had the boy and his sister learning a trade skill for themselves
so that they can be productive and the other 2 younger kids  attending
regular school as the way it should be.

My mother's neighbor, another victim of irresponsible parallel polygamy.  3
children in the family.  The father still wouldn't leave the mother.  The
girlfriend had kid.  No support of any kind.

I think it about time Viet Nam should have some kinds of alimony and child
support policies to govern these irresponsible men.  The devoted wife should
be reward for her devotion and investing a number of years of her life in
the marriage.  The innocent children didn't ask to be here in the first
place.  It is the adults who created them, thus the adults should be make to
take full responsibility to make sure that the children are safe and well
until they become adults and able to care for themselves.

I was fortunate enough to have a totally devoted mother and grandfather who
were the reasons for my very existence today.  But there are too many
unfortunate innocent children who are suffering from being abandoned and
neglected.  It is absolutely cruel, thoughtless, selfish, inhumane for the
adults only concern for themselves but not the innocent children.

Since a majority of infidelity cases most often involved greed, sex, fame,
and money, it is about time our society should stand up for morality sake to
do something about these irresponsible husband/wife/father/mother/
girlfriend/minor wife, so that our younger generations can see the light of
day.

Phong oi, I believe the monogamy concept was well received by the modern
Vietnamese women/families ever since it being introduced since post-colonial
period.  Our society have been benefit much better with the concept of one
happy moral loving family, meaning happy moral loving productive devoted
parent, in turn, they'll produce happy moral loving productive devoted
children, therefore, happy moral loving productive citizens for the
society.  I know you are a devoted husband and father.  You also must see
these benefits :-) .
Here are some real cases to support my proposal.  A good friend of our
family for over 20 years, who lived in the state of Maryland, who is a
scientist and worked for Nasa.  He was married and have 5 children when he
left VN in 1975.  He and his wife endured a 10 years separation before they
were reunited in 1986.  He studied and worked and waited for his wife and
his children.  There were a few women tried to compete for him during this
period, but he always told them he was flatter but he's married and he
didn't want to dishonor his wife and his children.  At present time,
there are 4 generations in his family still living together happily with
such devotion, and love from his mother to his grandchildren. All of his 5
children are happily married and all of them lived a very productive life.

Another friend is a who lived in Springfield, VA and retired from a jewelry
business.  You just couldn't see a better loving, loyal and devoted couple.
They are happily married for over 34 years.  They had 4 children and 4
grandchildren.  Their children also are happily married to loyal, loving,
devoted spouses.

Another friend who live in Tampa, Florida, who had six children and 15
grandchildren and who is a royal blood line of the Nguyen's dynasty.  They
are totally loyal and devoted to one another from the first day of their
marriage.  Six of their children are happily married and they are totally
loyal and devoted to their spouses.  Every weekend they get together at
their parent's home to spend time with one another.

My parent in law, they happily married and their loyal, devotion for one
another is unmatched.  They had 9 kids together, 10 grand kids, and 2 great
grand kids.  I just visited my father in law tonight and he proudly showed
me a necklace with a heart pendant (he bought) he wore on his
neck containing my mother in law and his pictures on both sides of the heart
pendant.

My sisters in law and my brothers in law, everyone of them devoted
themselves to their spouses and children with such love only compare to
their parent.

My maternal grandfather, being in love with my grandmother in an era that
forbidden them to set eyes on one another by families, friends, and
neighbor.  At the time my grandmother was a widower with 7 kids and she was
10 years older than my grandfather.  On the other hand, my grandfather were
single, never been marry and he came from a reputable family.  They overcome
all obstacles and get married by themselves despite everybody against them.
My mother was born with her twin sister out of that love.  My grandmother
died of a certain illness when my mother was only 10 years old.  My
grandfather never remarry, he stay single to raised my other with such love,
loyal and devotion on his part.  He burried my grandmother next to the house
they lived in and every single day he took my mother visited my
grandmother's grave and made his offering with fruits and nhang.

My mother, when my father left her for the other women at 32 years of age.
She stay single and raised my sister and I with such love, loyal and
devotion she learned from my grandfather.  She installed in me the
same love, loyal and devotion that my husband have been benefited thru out
our over 33 years of marriage, and my children from the first day they were
born.

My daughters, I must be the luckiest mother on this planet.  Both of my
daughters are as loving, generous, loyal and devoted not only their own
families but also to their parent as well.

My 2 years old grandson, Gavin.  He has such love and compassion and is so
affectionate at such a young age.  He always gave hugs and kisses with such
compassion to the people he saw on a daily basic.

It is 7:14 AM my time already.  I have to go pick up my grandson now for
today is the day I get to keep him.

I sincerely hope our children will have a better future if we keep talking
about this.

Please be well and be safe everyone!

TP

On Wed, Apr 2, 2008 at 5:42 PM, Shane Wall <
shane.wall at translingualexpress.com> wrote:

> [ Vietnam Business Forum ]
>
> Go Girl, Go! You have a supporter here!
>
> I am frankly disgusted by this "girlfriend" culture that I see displayed
> around me by married men in most of Southeast Asia (and I lived in or
> had extended visits in all of the bar Cambodia and Burma), and here in
> Vietnam too ... with all the laudable cultural virtues that people love
> to cling to!
>
> What parents would allow their sons or daughters to participate in such
> activities in such an outwardly moralistic society as Vietnamese people
> love to present to the world?
>
>  It is "great fun" to point out problems in this area when it happens in
> Cambodia, but what will you say about your "friend" or "friend of a
> friend" who is doing exactly the same? NOTHING!!!
>
> Of course this posting will not be published because in Vnbiz because it
> might be too truthfully close to the lives of 'important' people! Can
> money buy morals? It would seem that it can!!!.
>
> Shane
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Mr. Shane Wall
> Managing Director
>
> Trans Lingual Express
> 188/16 Nguyen Thuong Hien St,
> P.1, Q. Go Vap, HCMC,
> Vietnam
>
> Mail: shane.wall at translingualexpress.com
> Web: www.translingualexpress.com
>
> Ph: +84 (8) 588 1701
>
> Mbl: +84 (090) 9484 753 (English)
> Mbl: +84 (090) 7885 375 (Vietnamese)
>
>
>
> Tai Phan wrote:
> > [ Vietnam Business Forum ]
> >
> >
> >
> > ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Wife teaches hubby fiery lesson
> > 01/04/2008 16:01  - (SA)
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> > Phnom Penh - A Cambodian man who took his lover for a spin in his new
> > car was caught out when he pulled into his driveway only to be
> > confronted by his wife brandishing petrol, which she proceeded to pour
> > over the vehicle and ignite, police said on Tuesday.
> >
> > Seing Sokny, 25, was alerted to her husband's clandestine drive with
> > his lover in the northern tourist town of Siem Reap by her girlfriends
> > and decided to hit him where it hurt most, according to Svay Dangkum
> > district police official Chheng Sophea.
> >
> > "On Sunday, Paing Vibol came home after dropping the girl off and
> > Sokny just walked up, poured a bottle of petrol over the bonnet and
> > lit it up," Sophea said by telephone.
> >
> > Vibol, 39, had purchased the Toyota Corolla just four days earlier for
> > around $5 000.
> >
> > Sophea said the husband took one look at his car in flames and fled
> > the scene. He is now believed to be in hiding in Phnom Penh, more than
> > 300km away, Sophea said. - Sapa-dpa
> >
> > ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> >
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-- 
Tea (Tuy-Phuong) LeTran

Form is not different from Void, Void is not different from Form
Form is Void, Void is Form
(The Great-Wisdom-Beyond-Wisdom Heart Sutra)

Sa('c ba^'t di. Kho^ng, Kho^ng ba^'t di. Sa('c
Sa('c tu+'c thi. Kho^ng, Kho^ng tu+'c thi. Sa('c
( Ba't Nha~ Ta^m Kinh )
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