[Vnbiz] What is/are the secret(s) of success in life?

Sat Jan 6 19:28:42 PST 2007

Thanks anh Hoanh for the great pep talk.  A motivative read for the
beginning of the year.

Wish everyone a great 2007!

Tram :-)

On 1/2/07, Tran Dinh Hoanh <tdhoanh at gmail.com> wrote:
>
> [ Vietnam Business Forum ]
>
> Dear brother Nhon & CACC,
>
> Thanks, brother Nhon, for the note.  Your message encourages me
> greatly.  Even only one person finds that my message is helpful, I
> feel that my purpose has been achieved.
>
> And you have pose a great question:  How hard that is to change our
> goal in life?  This is the core question, brother Nhon.  You are
> obviously very analytical.  You can always count on your analytical
> skill as you go through life.  Trust me.
>
> Now about changing goals in life.  It is not easy at all, because:
>
> First, we human naturally resist changes.  We are built to stay with
> habits, routines, schedules.  We do want to change.  Say, every day
> you wake up at 6am.  It is not easy for you to change your routine to
> wake up at 5am instead.   We only change when we have to.  Most of us
> do not like changes.  It is must more comfortable to stay exactly
> where we are; we know very well our current situation.  It is very
> uncomfortable (and sometimes scary) to walk into a new road and face
> the unknown, the uncertain future.
>
> That is why every time we talk about moving the country forward, we
> always have to talk about tu duy problem (thinking problem). People
> are used to think one way, they don't want to change their thinking to
> a new way.  (There is a psychology term to describe this
> change-resistant tendency in human behavior.  But I forgot what that
> is).
>
> Second, once we have invested so much effort in a goal, we don't want
> to "take a loss" to abandon that goal.  "I have spent three years in
> medical school.  Now I just throw all that away and try to be a
> marketer?"
>
> These two things make changing goal very difficult.  That is why many
> people go through life afraid of making changes, afraid of goal
> changing. They basically stay at one place and feel miserable about
> their life.
>
> However, my experience is that the above two (scary) factors have been
> misunderstood and exaggerated greatly.
>
> First, the future, although unknown,  is not more unknown and more
> risky than the present situation.  We assume that we know today. Well,
> are you sure that you may not get into a car accident later today?  Or
> something won't happen today that may affect you greatly?
>
> Moreover, when we think bout the future, why do we have to think about
> bad stuff only?  Why should the future be any scarier than the
> present?  The future may as well bring us as much happiness as, if not
> more happiness than, the present.   Think positive!  Think positive!
> Think positive!
>
> In addition, if we are so unhappy with the present, i.e., we feel we
> are at the bottom, chances there is only one way for us to go:  UP.
> (You can't go down if you are already at the bottom).
>
> Second, wasted investment.  We feel that when we abandon an old goal,
> we waste all the money, effort and energy spent for that investment.
>
> This is wrong.  We never waste any experience in life.  Say, you study
> three years in medical school, then you switch gear and study law.  Do
> you waste three years in medicine?  No, not really.  Your medical
> knowledge may help you in trying court cases involving medicine and
> doctors later.  Or you have been doing marketing for several years,
> now you quit and go to medical school.  Your marketing knowledge may
> be helpful when you open your medical office or hospital later.
>
> No experience is wasted in life.  We build our experience one on top
> of another like bricks in a wall.   So the thinking that when we
> change goal we waste the "investment" we have spent in the old goal is
> just wrong thinking.  No experience is wasted in life.
>
> So, we can see that the "difficulty" in goal changing is not real.  It
> is in our mind.  It is just a wrong way of thinking.  It makes us
> negative, scared, and unmotivated.  It is just in our head.
>
> We just have to learn to think positively about changes. We have to
> love changes.  Look at changes as new opportunities to open new roads
> into the future, which may lead to many interesting things.
>
> The point is, we nay know what we have now.  But we will never know
> what we may have in the future if we don't try to open new roads.
>
> At this point I need to bring in a balancing note, to make sure no one
> will read my message in the extreme.  I am talking about changes and
> changing life goals and I am encouraging everyone to change life
> goals, BUT only when we feel the need to change.  Meaning, ONLY when
> we find that our current goal is not good for us, doesn't fit us,
> doesn't make us happy, meaning, only when we really feel in our heart
> that we should change goal.
>
> Other than that, try to stay with the current goal and work at it and
> make it a success.  If we change goal every three weeks, they are not
> goals.  They are just scattered brain.
>
> Great question, Brother Nhon.  Happy New Year.
>
> Hoanh
>
>
> > ---------- Forwarded message ----------
> > From: "Pham Thanh Nhon" <nhonpt at gmail.com>
> > To: vnbiz at vietlinks.net
> > Date: Mon, 1 Jan 2007 15:32:22 +0700
> > Subject: Re: [Vnbiz] [vnbiz] What is/are the secret(s) of success in
> life?
> >
> >
> > Dear Brother Hoanh,
> >
> > Actually, I had ignored your story at the first time I screened abundant
> > VNBIZ's email. However, it was lucky that I had made a copy to follow,
> and I
> > felt that I had read a meaningful story.
> >
> > It was more meaningful because I read your sharing at the New Year Eve
> > (03:10PM exactly). Every year I set new goals or remain my old goals to
> > pursue the success. When a New Year comes I always spend my time to
> think
> > about the last year on my goals and the events. Having a common on my
> > looking back was the hopeless for my performances and my achievements.
> New
> > Year Eve yesterday, I asked myself why I always got the same bad results
> of
> > my expectations. My expectations were too big or unobvious? Or my
> > performances weren't enough well to get the targets?
> >
> > The answer was both. My goals were both uncomfortable and unclear to
> > achieve. In addition, I didn't work well to meet the "big dream". I
> found
> > that I got something wrong on the ways I had always believed the right
> in my
> > hands. I asked myself the question how I could change my situation. I
> > realized that I had had to look the life and myself in a different point
> of
> > view. But what was it? And how could I take it? Anh Hoanh's story has
> given
> > me the tips for the answer. The goal that I like the most, feel happy
> with
> > the most is being an entrepreneur to work and contribute for what I
> passion.
> > My passion things are business, youth empowerment, and volunteer to make
> a
> > change.
> >
> > Anh Hoanh's story also gave me the change to review deeply the reality
> of my
> > goals and my achievements. The importance is setting the sub goals of my
> > goals in achievable. At here I would like to add my idea for the
> solutions
> > of anh Hoanh for our realistic goals is changing our goals or changing
> the
> > sub goals of our goal. Importantly, we need to know what needs to
> change. If
> > we evaluate our goals are achievable and we are going to get, and we
> still
> > passion for it. I think we don't need to change our goals. We should to
> > learn how we can finish well with right ways (by other ways - changing
> our
> > sub goals).
> >
> > To decide changing our goals or not is more complicated. I really don't
> have
> > much experience on this. I just like to do what I like, take my time to
> find
> > how far I passion for it. But the life is impermanence and
> uncontrollable as
> > anh Hoanh saying. What are your experiences to change your goals?
> >
> > --
> > Best regards,
> > Pham Thanh Nhon
> > PR Freelance. If you like to do sth for our country, take me up:
> > Phone: (+84) - 987 728 911
> > YIM: companion7_18
> > MSN: nhon.pt at hotmail.com
> > Skype: nhonpt
> --
> Tran Dinh Hoanh, LLB, JD
> Attorney of Law
> Washington DC
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