[vn-families] Everything, even our neurosis, is the play of wisdom

[binhp at mylinuxisp.com]

Source: http://www.dharmamemphis.com/contributors/camren_davis.htm

Everything, even our neurosis, is the play of wisdom

Karma is a funny thing. We usually think of karma as "if I do
something negative, then something negative will come back to
me." This is the wordly view of karma, and it is true in some
way, but karma is much larger than that. Karma is the entire
web of interconnectedness, and though we may see a general
pattern as to how things occur - aggression leads to suffering,
a cotton seed leads to a cotton plant - but there are many
other conditions that effect the whole process. For example,
a cotton seed may not lead to a cotton plant if there is not
sunlight, soil, water, proper weather conditions, etc. Similarly,
aggression only leads to suffering if the individual who is
experiencing the aggression does not see aggression as the play
of wisdom, does not see that the aggression occurs as an error
in perception of the true nature of reality, and does not see
that there is actually no "individual" as such experiencing the
aggression. Aggression causes suffering in the individual when
the individual is confused into thinking that there is a self
experiencing the aggression and does not see the destructive
quality of aggression and thus indulges in the aggression
thinking that it will bring some satisfaction.

As meditators we all know, at least conceptually, about the
destructive quality of passion, aggression, and ignorance,
but we are still confused by these appearances on a regular
basis. For instance, we see that acting out our aggression toward
others will most likely cause suffering in the other person and
almost definitley will cause suffering in ourselves. However,
we often don't see that self-aggression such as rejecting
aspects of ourselves as fundamentally bad causes suffering and
does not bring satisfaction. We can misinterpret the dharma
to think that all thoughts are bad, and in our meditation
we, instead of cultivating acceptance, cultivate aggression
through trying to push all thoughts away in the name of good
meditation. Furthermore, we may become addicted to the peace of
our meditation and therefore reject chaotic situations that we
will most definitley find ourselves in sooner or later. Perhaps
after reading this you might even reject that aspect of yourself
that has been giving into aggression, and therefore you further
indulge in aggression.

So, how do we cultivate a complete openness and loving kindness
toward all situations that occur within us and in world
around us? This is where awareness comes in. As we develop
our awareness through meditation and post-meditation we begin
to notice the web of interconnectedness that is the nature of
all occurrences. Nothing occurrs independently of other causes
and conditions. Your body does not exist independently without
the aid of the environment around it - without food you would
eventually die; without air you would eventually die; without
water you would eventually die, and with too much water you
would eventually drown.

Every experience that you experience is the result of limitless
causes and conditions. When you experience aggression arising
in yourself it is the result of numerous causes - perhaps you
heard someone say something that went against what you feel is
right. This requires ears to hear, a properly functioning inner
ear that can transmit the sound waves into bits of information
which your brain can then understand as language, a mind that
can then compare what you heard that person say and compare it
with other experiences that you have had in the past that either
contradict or confirm your belief structure which is itself an
intricately woven web of memories and thoughts. Having made
the final judgement of what you heard you then decide that
it is something that needs to be rejected and you respond in
aggression. Ironically, though, once the aggression arises it is
arising in response to something which is now only a memory - the
sound you heard is now in the past and can only be accessed by
way of memory. Then your aggression is actually self-inflicted:
you are becoming angry at a memory in your own mind rather
than something that is actually occurring in the present. So,
it may seem as if your aggression is directed outward but
in reality it is directed inward toward something which is,
by then, occurring only in your own mind.

This is not the best example of how aggression arises,
but it still does show how not being fully aware of what
is presently occurring and the interdependent process of
how it occurs leads to confusion. The next mistake we might
make is to think that confusion is not part of the web of
interconnectedness. Everything occurs in accordance with
interconnectedness whether what occurs is acceptance or
confusion. So, even neurosis is the play of interconnectedness.

It seems that we can become increasingly aware of the
interconnectedness of all phenomena of mind and matter and
how these elements interact. It is possible to cultivate
this awareness in meditation. If our meditation is dulling
our awareness of the nature of interconnectedness, then it
would probably be a good idea to evaluate our approach to
meditation. If our meditation leads to a strengthened awareness
of interconnectedness, whether our meditation is watching the
sun set or our body breathe, then this is meditation that leads
to truly understanding the true nature and will ultimately lead
us to become aware of ourselves as Buddhas.