[Vacets-local-dc] [A Vietnamese bride in Taiwan]

[Hai Tran]

A personal interview with a 22 year old female in Vietnam married into Taiwanese family
Wed Mar 24, 9:11 AM (lenduong.net)

 Tam: This is Nguyen Hoang Thanh Tam with Len Duong International Vietnamese Youth group welcoming you to our program. We have heard much about the heartbreaking incidences of Vietnamese women having to marry Taiwanese men through the various articles and reports. Today, the Len Duong Internationl Vietnamese Youth group once again invites you to revisit this topic, but this time through the words of an actual victim of such circumstance. She is a 22 year old female of a southern province of Vietnam who married a Taiwanese man 1 year ago, is now divorced, and awaiting to return to our homeland. This interview took place on the morning of Saturday March 13, 2004 via telephone connection to a northern province of Taiwan. The audio recording of this interview can be found on the website of Len Duong at http://www.lenduong.net
And now, we invite you to listen in on a personal account of a 22 year old female married to a Taiwanese man. (For purposes of confidentiality) we will refer to her as chi Loan.

Tam: First off, can you let our young friends and fellow Vietnamese know your current situation? When did you come to Taiwan?

Chi Loan: I came (to Taiwan) in March...March of last year. It's been one year since I've been here.

Tam: Your life in Taiwan, since you came to Taiwan until now, can you let our young friends know what that life is like?

Chi Loan: Do you know, since I've come to Taiwan, I have not been happy,...can I tell you (the story) from the time that I came to my husband's side? I'll tell you all about it.

Tam: Yes

Chi Loan: When I first came here, my husband's side, they did not love me at all. My mother-in-law told me that she offered money so that my husband could go to Vietnam to buy me so that I can come here and clean their house. That's what she told me. My husband, he already had a wife, and 3 children, two girls and one boy. The oldest is 10 yrs old. Another one 9 years old and the next one 5 years old. He always goes with his wife. I am here to clean the household, there
is no love involved. He goes out all day and all night, he does not come home. He goes with his wife. Then later on, I was always crying, asking for a divorce, asking to return to my country, but my mother- in-law said, "If you divorce him, you have to bring 150 million over here to pay, and then I'll let you return to your country." That's what she said. Then after I had been there a month, two months, I was pregnant. I was 1 month and 10 days pregnant. I didn't even know that I was pregnant. I was always sick. I called over to a sister and I said why am I always sick? Then she called my mother-in-law and my mother-in-law brought me to the hospital for an exam and we knew I was pregnant. Then she called my husband to come, and told him to sign papers to make me have an abortion. I refused, and then my mother- in-law and my husband hit me. They hit me right in the hospital. They were hitting me in the hospital, and I said I would not have an abortion, and "if you and your mot
 he
r don't want me (to have this baby), then let me take this pregnancy back to vietnam, because it is my child...I would never be able to abandon my child". My mother-in-law, she hit me, and my husband, he strangled my neck. I cried so much. My mother-in-law said that if I didn't accept (to have the abortion), she would leave me. The road was so far, I wouldn't know the way home! Then my husband threatened to leave me there and eventually I had to have the abortion. And then at home, in the afternoon...I had just had my abortion at 2pm...at 6 pm she made me take out the garbage, tugging 2 loads down the stairs...oh my God, I had so much pain in my stomach I wanted to die. To tell you the truth, since I've been here, don't even talk about evil. My mother-in-law, she treats me with no kindness at all, and my husband, he goes out all the time. Then later on, he and I would always argue. My husband, he always listens to his mother, everything. And my father in law, he's a pervert! 
 He's a
 pervert so it's very difficult to live there! And my mother in law gets jealous.

Tam: So everyone lives in the same household?

Chi Loan: Yes. Then I began to sell breakfast. Selling for 1 hour earns a hundred over here. One month is 12 thousand, right? But my husband's side of the family took everything. My mother-in-law said that my husband gets half and she gets half. I went to work, but I did not receive even a dollar. I asked her, I work so hard, why don't I receive any money, and she said you go out and work for just a little bit, and you call that hard work?? My God, I look at myself coming over here and I feel sad, discouraged. Later on I was able to divorce out of that. That was July. I had been there 7-8 months, and I was not able to give my family any money. I did not even have money for breakfast for myself. She (my mother in law) did not even give me money to eat breakfast.

Tam: What is the reason that you chose to leave Vietnam and marry a Taiwanese person?

Chi Loan: Because my family was poor, not rich like other people's families. I wanted to come here, first of all to get married, and second, with hope that my husband would love me and allow me to go to work so that I would have money to send to my family. My mother and my father have many illnesses, and no money, so I wanted to come here. That's it. Inside, I did not want to come here. When he came to Vietnam to marry me...I thought he loved me...I thought he loved me alot. Then we got here, and he did not love me, I asked him why he went to Vietnam to marry me, and loved me, and now over here he did not love me, and he said, "I deceived you to have you come over here." That's what he said. My husband, he's not like others. He is disabled, handicapped in both legs--not like others who can get around. It's like that, and still the in-laws don't have any pity on me.

Tam: And may we ask, when this husband came to Vietnam to marry you, did he offer any financial portion to you and your family?

Chi Loan: My wedding that was close to New Year's Day...my family only had 4 million do la left.

Tam: 4 million Vietnamese dollars?

Chi Loan: 4 million Vietnamese dollars. Only 4 million...that's very little.

Tam: Yes. How did you meet him?

Chi Loan: Through introduction. Over there there is a place that (nuoi dao)...and then there was a person in my rural village that knew how much my family was struggling, and so they told me to go marry a Taiwanese husband. I said "my God, I don't know, I don't even know if they would accept me" and the woman who brought me up to that place, she said, "those taiwanese men, they'll be agreeable", and so she brought me to that place to live. I stayed there for 10 days, and I so I met him.

Tam: And so it's like you stayed in a camp...

Chi Loan: Yes, I was in like a camp.

Tam: How many females were in that camp?

Chi Loan: In there, there were about 30 something of us...32.

Tam: And the person who stayed there the longest. How long was that?

Chi Loan: Staying without "passing"? Staying without "passing" was about 2 months.

Tam: And how do you "pass" to be accepted by a Taiwanese person?

Chi Loan: Well, when they come over from Taiwan, they go to a hotel, and a person brings the selection there, and if they don't like (the female), then they tell you to go home. And if he likes you, then you stay and get married. Within one day into the next, there is a wedding.

Tam: And in your situation, within one day into the next, you were married?

Chi Loan: Yes

Tam: Regarding that camp...does the government know about it?

Chi Loan: The government knows about it, but because... It's like they're in it together (sharing in the money). LIke that woman (who introduces females into the camp), she gives money to the police, so the police don't persecute anybody. They're all sharing the reward, so how can they persecute anybody?

Tam: Your situation right now in Taiwan...like you said, you have divorced this husband. What is your life like now?

Chi Loan: My life right now is very hard. My salary over here is 18 thousand per month, and out of that, 5 thousand goes to rent, and the rest of just enough for food. There is no money to send to my family.

Tam: Approximately When will you return to Vietnam?

Chi Loan: In a few months when the visa expires, then I will return (to Vietnam). I cannot survive, neither here nor there. I don't know what to do now. I see that I am so miserable. Now I am divorced, and they've bought my flight ticket to return to Vietnam, but they don't give me a penny outside of that, not even local transportation money. I cried so much. With not even a dollar, how can I return with just a flight ticket? My wedding jewelry, my wedding belongings, my mother in law and my husband won't give them back to me.

Tam: Like you have said, if you knew beforehand that your situation would be as it is, you would not have married a Taiwanese person and you would not have come to Taiwan.

Chi Loan: Yes, if I had known that coming over here would end in divorce, I never would have stepped foot onto Taiwan. Having arrived here, I've come to regret it, and will regret it my whole life.

Tam: Do you have anything to share with fellow sisters in Vietnam who are currently wanting to marry Taiwanese persons?

Chi Loan: I don't know. I would advise them: Don't come over here. There is only suffering over here. Day by day there is only more suffering. It is never that day by day you become more...don't believe them. There are many people here, and there is not one person who is happy. Everyone is crying. Everyone is struggling. No one is happy. You see, I've been down that path. Don't follow. There is only more and more suffering. You will never be happy. Don't listen to them, to their sweetness and promises. Once your arrive here there is only suffering. That is the truth.


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You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.

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